Several years ago, I had an ERCP done using Versed. It is more complicated than an endoscopy. This procedure involves going down the throat and into an organ; dropping a camera in, and so forth. It was used to detect problems with my gallbladder. Sorry, but the details and names are too horrific to remember.

All, I know is that for 30 minutes I thought I was being tortured to death. I felt like my insides were being ripped apart. I could not speak; I was told not to move, and the procedure went on and on. The doctor kept saying, Im giving her so much of this stuff and she is not responding.

Now, I have significant problems and need a colonoscopy and will not have it done because I would rather die (if necessary) than go through that again. I mean it. It was worse than childbirth (and I had 27 hours of difficult labor).

What can I do? What do I ask for? Benzodiazpenes have no effect on me whatsoever, thanks to addiction by prescription by doctors for panic attacks for over 30 years. So, now the doctors who put me on Ativan (benzo), could not get me off of it and I am stuck taking it in a very high dose daily, probably for the rest of my life. I am not getting high on it; but if I try to stop I get very, very sick. I have done this a couple of times and ended up in ER, and was told that I could die doing that. They tried to get me off VERY slowly for over a year, but I would reach a point of, say 4mgs a day (still a very high dose), and be unable to get lower without convulsing.

My question is, and I dearly hope someone has an answer. What do I do?
I am not addicted to any other drug. I am a drug addict,I guess, but by doctor's prescription, not because I abuse it or get it illegally.
Thank you.
Please respond someone. I am so scared I am crying here.
Dreeanna
dreeanna@aol.com