I've both bought and sold items on eBay. It never ceases to amaze me when sellers complain about the fees they pay. They aren't paying any fees. THE BUYER IS! Sellers sell used items they've had and no longer want, sell things given to them by other people who no longer want them, or purchase items far below their costs to sell for a few dollars less than retail. SellerS charge handling fees to cover the cost of packing material (often an old used box with newpaper as padding), gas, internet service, time spent listing the item, and wear and tear to their vehicles for transport to shipping facilities. Often there's a dollar or two added to these costs (for nothing) that eBay doesn't charge for. Bottom dollar... THE BUYER PAYS ALL THESE FEES FOR THE SELLER WHEN THEY PAY FOR THE ITEM!!! If sellers lost money selling on eBay, it wouldn't exist! Just as sellers say, "Buyers shouldn't buy if they don't like the shipping costs." Sellers shouldn't sell if they don't want to give up a portion of their sale price as fees. I've sold both expensive and inexpensive items. In the end, I always ended up making a profit.

As far as the sellers who over charge for shipping... buyers should consider the total cost of the item (price + shipping). If the shipping costs are clearly stated, the item is worth the total cost, and they want it, don't complain. Otherwise, keep shopping. Personally, I avoid sellers who use that tactic.

As for feedback... When I sell an item, I leave feedback as soon as payment is made. The feedback I leave is based on how quickly the buyer pays and, if applicable, on their communications with me. Sure, I can hold off on leaving FB until I receive it, but why? I give honest and detailed descriptions of the items I sell, INCLUDING ALL DAMAGE. I also take additional pictures that I keep until the sale is completed (in case someone asks), and pack all my items about a day before the auction ends, so I can get them in the mail ASAP. I also state in all my auctions, and on the packing slip enclosed with the item, that I will try to work with any buyer to resolve any issues if they'll contact me BEFORE leaving negative FB. If they decide to leave me a negative, I still can't go back and leave them negative FB, because I've already said they paid. Sure, I can leave a follow-up footnote, but most people who review FB are looking for negatives. They may not ever notice a negative footnote on a postive FB. Using this method of honest description and willingness to resolve issues has never failed me in getting positive FB in return. My only negative came in retaliation from a non-paying bidder (something eBay no longer allows).

I am ALWAYS suspicious of sellers who insist on getting FB first. I try to only do business with sellers who leave FB first. This is easy to do by going to the sellers FB and looking under "Left for Others". If I find an item that I can only purchase from a non-FB first seller (NFBFS), I neither leave nor expect FB. I believe that's what all buyers should do. It would quickly put an end to what you refer to as FB blackmail, and I call Feedback Hostagery. Yes, it does keep my FB score low and excellent, but I'm shopping, not trying to win a popularity contest. Despite any excuses made by NFBFS, there is only one reason for waiting to leave a buyer FB. The reason is, they want to punish buyers who complain, and they know many will suck it up to keep their FB scores up. Anyone who says this isn't true needs to follow a few FB trails. See if you can find a buyer who's left negative FB for a NFBFS about a deceptive/omissive description or slow ship time and got a positive returned stating, "Sorry you were unhappy. It was my fault." Not gonna happen! And you can bet there were plenty of times, for whatever reason, the seller was in the wrong. Any complaint gets a negative. In some cases, I've seen buyers leave postive that included a complaint and got negative in return.

Since eBay is unwilling to address these issues, there is only one way to change it. That is, for BUYERS NOT TO LEAVE FB FOR SELLERS WHO HAVEN'T LEFT IT FIRST and REFUSE TO BUY FROM SELLERS WHO PAD SHIPPING!