From Dave Barry Hits Below the Belt (2001), pp. 109-10:

2. Require Candidates to Wear Donor Logos

Have you ever watched auto races on television? Have you noticed that the drivers wear uniforms plastered with the logos of the companies that sponsor them? Has it ever occurred to you that we could do something similar with presidential candidates? That's right: We could crash them into walls at two hundred miles per hour.

No, as much fun as that would be, what I'm actually proposing is that we require candidates to wear signs clearly identifying them to hold their current set of opinions. This would clear up a lot of confusion. For example, Al Gore often passionately declared his commitment to public schools, which was puzzling, because he sent his own personal children to exclusive private junior and senior high schools. Think how much clearer the situation would have been if Al had been wearing a teachers union logo the size of a dinner plate. And imagine how much easier it would be to understand George W. Bush's environmental policies if he had an oil company sign tattooed on his forehead. You wouldn't even have to listen to what the candidates said! You could just read their logos!