Usually the difference between "terrorists" and the "good guys" are simple things such as a regular command structure, a senior officer that can effect orders, and uniforms or "regular soldiers," and a supporting nation.

Take any of these things out of the picture (much like the fire triange) and you move from being an official army to terrorists. Many of the actions by our Special Forces could be interpreted as terrorist actions, except for the fact that they have all the proper credentials to make them "regulars" including support by a government that can be negotiated with.

The key point here is how can one negotiate with terrorists if they refuse to make themselves public until some damage has been done? And then only "negotiate" with terror videos, or some other one way only means.