I videoconference for 5+ hours of meetings a week, and I've never noticed the eyecontact problem. Oh, and I work at a company that actually spends money fixing incorrect eye contact in our product (films).

I assume you're seeing the issue when the other person's eye is large enough that you can tell the difference between the right and wrong eye contact. In many of our rooms (kind of like this one: http://technical-itch.co.uk/2006/11/13/videoconferencing-gets-new-lease-...), the cameras are one head-size away from the eyes, but the other person is sized as if he were about 10ft away. That ratio might be enough to fix the eye contact issue.

I haven't checked my theory with any women, though.