I have invented a fictional scientific institute, funded by men, that keeps producing studies which, at least on the surface, seem to be good news for guys.

Here’s a summary of some of the research:

• Semen is an anti-depressent. Yes ladies, women with regular exposure to our special product have seriously lower incidence of depression. They compared couples who use condoms and those who don’t.
• Coffee is good for you. Ok, this isn’t just guys but in stereotypes, they are the coffee drinkers.
• Beer is good for you.
• Wine and alcohol is good for you.
• Men with two wives live much longer. Come on honey, do you want me to die young?
• Chocolate is good for you. Ok, so the women eat just as much as we do.
• You live longer if you’re fat and fit than thin and unfit.
• High heels no worse on your knees than ordinary shoes.
• Short skirts cause fewer skirt-related injuries than long skirts. (Ok, this one is just self-evident.)
• Sex every day will strengthen your marriage. OK, not yet studied with full rigour, but, duh!